EVANSTON, IL—City social services personnel have rescued three children that had been seen playing outside this summer. The three children, boys ages 11, 9 and 7, had been observed playing outdoors almost every day for the last two months. Concerned neighbors knew they had to do something.
“We couldn’t just sit by and watch them wasting their childhood like that when they should be inside like normal youngsters,” said neighbor Doris Cravitz. “They have been climbing trees, playing stick ball, and chasing each other around all summer long. It’s not natural. No other children around here do that. I can’t help but think that their imaginations are being stunted without sufficient electronic stimulation. It’s so sad,” she added.
“This type of aberrant parenting spreads in a community like gangrene. Two other children in the neighborhood have reportedly been seen outdoors with the three siblings and we are aggressively investigating them as well,” said city councilman Ainogh Best.
The three brothers have been removed from their home and placed in the care of social services personnel who will hopefully be able to re-socialize them and correct their aberrant behavior. Standard treatment for this type of condition is to confine the subjects in a room with no social contact for extended periods of time and provide them with video games and cell phones where they can sit and stare at screens all day, every day—like normal kids.
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