Dinosaur, CO—In a bold move, the staff members at Dinosaur High School have declared that low student achievement is not their fault because all of the students are lazy and stupid. A declaration signed by 87% of the faculty blames the students for low scores on district, state and national tests

“What are we supposed to do? All of the kids are either lazy or stupid… or both” said Sandra Vieille-Ecole, a veteran mathematics teacher.

“It’s impossible to teach these students anything. No one could do it. And it’s definitely not our fault. At all. In any way,” said another teacher, who refused to be named, but with whom all of the teachers in the faculty lounge seemed to agree.

Dinosaur teachers have petitioned the local teachers’ organization to issue a statement freeing them of any responsibility for student results on any test or assignment due to the abysmally low quality of their students.


News that’s fake, but not by much, from Brycehedstrom.com your trusted source for practical language education and occasional satire.



There is always a chance that some might think these “news articles” are real. They aren’t. The name of the teacher in the first quote in French translates as “Defender of the Old School” who teaches at “Dinosaur” High School. Dinosaur is an real town in northwestern Colorado but the regional high school there goes by a different name.

Teaching is challenging, but blaming the students is an irresponsible route. We are the professionals. We are the adults in the room. We must be the first to take responsibility when students are not learning.

I fear that far too many of our colleagues insinuate that the students are to blame. Schools will not grow until we teachers own our part.