May 5, 2020

NEW YORK—World language teachers often suspect that language publishers still do not quite get how languages are actually acquired, and this week’s prime time nationwide telecast was no help in allaying those fears.

On this week’s special language educators’ episode of Wheel of Fortune, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, editors from major world language publishers were invited to strut their stuff and show off how much they understood about their field.

Only one letter remained covered by the end of round #1. The category was How Language is Acquired. The audience, which consisted mostly of publishing employees whose attendance was mandatory, began to cheer wildly, thinking that leaders in their field might finally be getting it.

Some final guesses were: “Listen and repeat,” “Drilling grammar for years before anyone can even order a cup of coffee in Paris,” “Culture explained entirely in English,” and “Worksheets.”

But, in the end, they failed to see the answer, which was ‘Comprehensible Input,’ and all of them were eliminated from play.

So disappointing!

They are filing an appeal because that is “what they meant,” and all of their answers were, “pretty close to that anyway.”

News that’s fake, but not by much, from, your source for educational satire.