CAMBRIDGE, MA—In yet another education scandal, French teacher Désireux Lecteur has been placed on administrative leave from her position after publicly disagreeing with the removal of the school library and other absurd habits, according to a statement released Monday.

Lecteur’s school, McKinley-Taft High School in Cambridge, removed the remaining vestiges of the school’s already small library to make space for new classrooms with the latest WiFi connectivity. Lecteur disagreed with the decision.

The shocking revelation came after months of rumors by faculty members who claimed they had seen Lecteur reading books, mentioning books she had read in teachers’ lounge conversations, and even encouraging students to read books. The evidence was overwhelming, and the longtime educator could not deny the allegations, leading administrators to demand an apology to district teachers, students and parents. So far, Lecteur has defiantly refused, offensively claiming, “Books are good.”

“This is a major blow to our entire school district,” outraged school board member, K. Pendejo, said in an interview. “If we can’t trust our teachers to maximize their free time by surfing the internet for cool videos rather than wasting their time reading, who can we trust?”

Other teachers called the news “disturbing,” stating that they had heard of reading scandals before, but never thought a veteran teacher would come to prey upon the students and staff in their own school. “We always thought this was something that happened in other schools, but not ours. Not here. Reading books is old stuff and a waste of time. We all know that.” said German teacher coworker, Ichweiß Nichts.

At publishing time, the disgraced educator had confirmed that she actually believes students acquire more and retain more from reading physical books rather than by playing Kahoot! every day. This unorthodox and outlandish comment was based on so-called “research” she cited by some snotty know-it-all professors (who she probably read about in one of her “books”). That preposterous comment has led to a full-blown investigation of Lecteur’s atrocities by district authorities to see how far her corruption has reached in area schools.

News that’s fake, but not by much, from brycehedstrom.com, your trusted source for educational satire.

P.S. If you don’t read French, Spanish or German, run the names in this article through a translator program.

P.P.S Cambridge, Massachusetts was the home of the first printing press in English America in 1638.