CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a major scandal, school teacher Désireux Lecteur was forced to resign from her position after confessing to disagreeing with the removal of the school library, according to a statement released Monday.

Lecteur’s former school, McKinley-Taft High School in Cambridge, is removing the remaining vestiges of the school’s small library to make space for two new classrooms with the latest WiFi connectivity this summer. Cambridge was ironically the home of the first printing press in the USA in 1638.

The shocking revelation came after months of rumors, as faculty members claimed they had seen Lecteur reading books, encouraging students to read books, and occasionally mentioning books she had read in casual conversation. But in the end, the longtime teacher could no longer deny the allegations, leading to her public statement and an apology to her school, along with her resignation.

“This is a major blow to our entire school district,” one school board member said in an interview. “If we can’t trust our teachers to maximize their time spent surfing the internet for cool videos rather than wasting their time reading, who can we trust?”

Other teachers called the news “disturbing,” stating that they had heard of reading scandals before, but never thought a veteran teacher would come to prey upon their own school. “We always thought it was something that could happen to other schools, but not ours,” said one long-time coworker.

At publishing time, the disgraced educator had further confirmed that she believes students acquire more and retain more from reading physical books, leading to a full-blown investigation by district authorities to see how far the corruption has reached.

News that’s fake, but not by much, from brycehedstrom.com, your trusted source for educational satire.