February 24, 2020

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH—Spanish teacher Teo Retica Mente has been accused of using non-communicative teaching methods, a serious allegation. But even more serious is the allegation that by so doing, he has appropriated math teacher culture.

Mente habitually teaches using formulas and long explanations in English with no real communication in the target language.

Since discovering the pilfering 0f their methods, “Señor Mente” has become a target in the math education community. “Pure theory with no application to the outside world is our thing!” said one offended algebra teacher. “Stop appropriating math culture!”

“Pi!  Pi! Pi r squared!  Stealing our methods is not fair! wrote another enraged math teacher on Twitter. “Not only do math teachers have to contend with students constantly asking ‘When are we ever gonna use this stuff?’, but now we find out our teaching practices have been colonized by world language teachers!!”

Mente has also reportedly taught a three-week long unit on indirect object pronouns, as well as a six-week unit on subjunctive conjugations.

“News that’s fake, but not by much,” from brycehedstrom.com, your reliable source for language education satire.