Satire

LOCAL TEACHER BOOSTS HOMEWORK LOAD IN BID FOR TEACHER OF THE YEAR

Local teacher Anne Dur has a plan. Last year she was a finalist for national teacher of the year and missed receiving that honor by just a few points. This year she is determined to get it. This year she thinks she knows what to do. Dur has upped the homework requirement in her French classes to what some might call an excessive amount of time. “Last year I missed it because the kids didn’t score high enough on the national exams. That’s not going to happen again this year. Non monsieur,” said Dur. Students and parents were shocked to [...]

STUDY: WORLD LANGUAGE TEACHERS DEEPLY DIVIDED ON HOW BEST TO MISINTERPRET KRASHEN’S HYPOTHESES

June 29, 2018 PHILADELPHIA, PA—A new study on classroom practices by world language teachers confirms what many have suspected: the nation’s teachers are more divided than ever on how Dr. Stephen Krashen’s revolutionary hypotheses about language acquisition should be misinterpreted, misunderstood and misapplied to support their own instructional preferences. The study indicates that world language instructors are drifting further apart as proponents of varying practices come to terms with how Krashen’s work should be contorted to fit their own pre-determined teaching style and favorite units. While teachers on all sides of the issue agree that the principles of comprehensible input [...]

By |2018-06-29T11:58:43+00:00June 29th, 2018|Categories: Fake News & Satire, Just for Fun, Krashen, Satire|1 Comment

TEACHER FORCED TO RESIGN AFTER REVEALING SHE READS FOR PLEASURE

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a major scandal, school teacher Désireux Lecteur was forced to resign from her position after confessing to disagreeing with the removal of the school library, according to a statement released Monday. Lecteur’s former school, McKinley-Taft High School in Cambridge, is removing the remaining vestiges of the school's small library to make space for two new classrooms with the latest WiFi connectivity this summer. Cambridge was ironically the home of the first printing press in the USA in 1638. The shocking revelation came after months of rumors, as faculty members claimed they had seen Lecteur reading books, encouraging students [...]

By |2018-06-06T12:40:20+00:00June 6th, 2018|Categories: Just for Fun, Reading, Satire|Tags: |0 Comments

TRANSFERRED NUTTSVILLE HIGH P.E. TEACHER FIRED

(This is a follow up to an earlier story. See the original story here: https://www.brycehedstrom.com/…/parent-group-vows-to-continu…)   Nuttsville, VA—Nuttsville High School teacher Brigitte Jansen has been fired. Jansen had been placed in a temporary position as Physical Education teacher after a parent group complained about her conduct in French classes. Jansen had been under investigation by the school board for requiring Nuttsville students in her French classes to speak French. She also reportedly had been using “too much French” in her classes. When she was transferred to the P.E. position during the investigation, students in Jansen’s classes began complaining again almost immediately. [...]

By |2018-04-25T21:38:33+00:00April 25th, 2018|Categories: Fake News & Satire, Satire|0 Comments

LOCAL TEACHER CONFIDENT THIS YEAR STUDENTS WILL FINALLY BE FLUENT

SEATTLE, WA—Veteran local Spanish teacher Y.A. Basta, 37, reports he is still confident that this year his attempts will finally be fruitful and yield classes full of fluent speakers after 14 consecutive years of frustration. Basta admits that in the past, students could not remember anything, or even order a cup of coffee in Madrid, despite up to 4 years of intensive study in his classes. While most teachers would cry out, “Enough!” and seek different methods after such a run of failure, Basta is not swayed, confirming to sources that he will “stay the course” until he is successful [...]

By |2018-04-23T17:02:20+00:00April 23rd, 2018|Categories: C.I. Skeptics, Change, Fake News & Satire, Satire|0 Comments