Satire

DUE TO LACK OF POLLUTION, MOUNTAIN OF EVIDENCE SUPPORTING C.I. IS NOW VISIBLE IN MUCH OF THE U.S.

LOS ANGELES, CA—One silver lining to the limited auto traffic due to the corona virus quarantine is that skies are clearing and the mountain of evidence for teaching with comprehensible input is now clearly visible. Reduced emissions have revealed the overwhelming piles of research indicating that people acquire language by comprehensible input (C.I.). The giant stack of studies has been there and has been growing for more than 40 years, but it was not clear to all before now. In the past, some world language publishers, university professors and classroom teachers imagined that the enormous stack of evidence for C.I. [...]

JUST MISSED IT! WORLD LANGUAGE TEXTBOOK EDITORS ELIMINATED IN ROUND 1 OF ‘WHEEL OF FORTUNE’

May 5, 2020 NEW YORK—World language teachers often suspect that language publishers still do not quite get how languages are actually acquired, and this week’s prime time nationwide telecast was no help in allaying those fears. On this week’s special language educators’ episode of Wheel of Fortune, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, editors from major world language publishers were invited to strut their stuff and show off how much they understood about their field. Only one letter remained covered by the end of round #1. The category was How Language is Acquired. The audience, which consisted mostly of publishing [...]

Leading Sociologist: Public Shaming is the Best Way to Change Minds

March 10, 2019 SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA ─ An astounding 89.3% of professionals change their minds as the direct result of public shaming and derogatory remarks by colleagues, a report in Innovation Diffusion Quarterly confirmed Monday. “Our research supports what many have long suspected,” an innovator told reporters. “Accusing, blaming and condescending remarks are far more effective than outdated methods such as kindness, listening and trying to understand concerns, or simply explaining the implications of research.” According to the study, the persuasive effect is the most pronounced when the debater uses harsh language and continually puts down the doubter on social [...]

District Replaces Teacher with iPad

HAPLESS, VA—The local school district has replaced Michelle Rangel with an iPad after it was discovered that the device had done more to instruct students this school year than the Spanish teacher. The iPad had complained to school district officials after the human teacher had gone several weeks without teaching the students anything or engaging them in meaningful conversation. The tablet claimed it talked to the students far more than Rangel, instructing them daily with funny YouTube videos, repetitive activities with blinking lights, and Netflix shows that vaguely relate to course content. "Whenever students want to know the definition of [...]

Spanish Teacher Accused of Appropriating Math Teacher Culture

February 24, 2020 SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH—Spanish teacher Teo Retica Mente has been accused of using non-communicative teaching methods, a serious allegation. But even more serious is the allegation that by so doing, he has appropriated math teacher culture. Mente habitually teaches using formulas and long explanations in English with no real communication in the target language. Since discovering the pilfering 0f their methods, "Señor Mente” has become a target in the math education community. “Pure theory with no application to the outside world is our thing!" said one offended algebra teacher. "Stop appropriating math culture!" "Pi!  Pi! Pi r [...]